I didn’t wake up one day and say, “Oh, I’m burned out.” It snuck up on me slowly, like the weeds in a garden you neglect. A missed lunch here, another late night there, and suddenly I was fueled on caffeine and adrenaline. I believed that was normal. I believed that was leadership.
But I was still at my desk one evening, at around 11:45. The office was deserted save for the whir of the air conditioning and the flashing of the exit sign. I saw my reflection reflected in the dark screen of my laptop when it automatically shut down, and to be honest? I didn’t like the image that glared back at me. Gaunt face, bloodshot eyes, shoulders slumped as if I was carrying invisible weights. That was when I realized something had to bend.
Stress as a Stealthy Thief
The peculiar thing about stress is that it moves quietly. It steals without you even realizing it. First, it stole my sleep. Then it stole my patience. At some point, it began stealing my concentration. I’d attend meetings nodding my head while my mind was elsewhere.
I recall snapping at a colleague one time, not because his suggestion was terrible but because I was too worked up to even listen. That still irks me. Leadership isn’t about dumping your issues on the people you’re leading.
A Wake-Up Call
The real turning point wasn’t dramatic. No meltdown. No ambulance ride. Just a passing remark from a co-worker:
“You look tired. Like, really tired. Is this pace sustainable?”
That term sustainable lingered in my mind. I came home that evening and simply sat in my kitchen in the dark. I couldn’t recall the last time I had had a dinner without multitasking or the last time I’d gone a full week without jolting awake at 3 a.m. with thoughts of work.
I was creating success on shaky ground.
First Small Steps
I wish I could report that I made one massive shift and things started fixing themselves. Nope. What did work were small, nearly humorous measures.
Walking meetings. I began offering walks instead of sitting around the same table. A mile around the block did more for clarity than an hour of PowerPoint slides.
Mornings are my thing. I quit falling into email the moment I woke up. Instead, I allowed myself 20 minutes to journal, stretch, or just quietly sit with coffee.
Space to breathe. I put breaks between meetings. Not to “get more work done” but to breathe. Occasionally, I’d gape out the window, and that break alone made me more relaxed.
None of that costs money. None of it was glamorous. But gradually, it began to return me to myself.
Wellness as a Strength, Not a Luxury
One of the most difficult transitions for me was altering the narrative in my mind. I had previously believed wellness was wimpy. Something you did if you weren’t serious about achieving results. Today, I recognize it as the contrary.
When I work my body, my brain functions better. When I relax, I listen better. When I prioritize time for people I care about, I return to work with greater clarity.
And here’s the kicker: my team picked up on it. They noticed me leaving on time, standing firm against breaks, saying no when I was full. And gradually, they began to do the same. Meetings became crisp. People felt lighter. We even laughed more, which had been absent for some time.
Wellness wasn’t just working for me. It was working for us.
From Stress to Strength
The change wasn’t sudden, but it was actual. I still experience stress these days; leadership will always be stressful, but it no longer owns me. Well-being provided me with tools to flex without shattering.
There is power in understanding your limitations. There is power in being able to say, “I need rest.” There is power in creating a life where work is important but does not suck the last drop out of you.
And the wild thing? I actually do better now. Stress made me brittle. Wellness made me flexible. And flexible leaders last longer.
Lessons I Keep Close
If I were to scribble down the big lessons from this journey, they’d look like this:
- Exhaustion is not a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign.
- Wellness isn’t selfish. It’s leadership in action.
- Small steps add up. Don’t wait for a crisis to start.
- People reflect what you model. If you’re constantly fried, your team will be too.
Closing Thoughts
I don’t claim to have everything figured out. There are still weeks when I let old ways creep back in. But I know this much: stress doesn’t have to equal leadership. Wellness can.
If you are reading this and are stretched thin, begin with one. Take a walk during lunch. Silence your phone an hour before going to bed. Carve out five minutes to breathe between meetings.
You’d be amazed at how much power is on the other side of stress.
Because leadership is not about how much you can bear. It’s about bearing it in a manner that does not destroy you and demonstrating to others that they can do the same.